Long weekend working on my research methods paper

I wanted to devote some time to playing around with my website this weekend, but Reseach Methods is a ton of work, so I focused on that this weekend and didn't do a darn thing on the website. I feel bad, but at least I can blog a little. Once I'm done drafting the paper, I can come back to the website with a clearer head, I hope. But I also think it's helpful to take a little break from the website right now. I so often feel frustrated by not being able to do what I want to do with it, that it's becoming something I find myself avoiding. I really don't want to feel that way about it -- I want to feel enthusiastic and playful when I sit down, instead of wondering how many hours it's going to take me to slog through something that should take minutes and instead takes hours.

Links!

Well, it took me way longer than I planned, and much longer than I thought it should, but I've finally got some test pages linked. I would really like to do buttons, but I can't seem to figure out how and it's getting me really frustrated again, so I've decided to content myself with links for now. Maybe I can figure out the buttons later. I'm really finding this book totally worthless. It just confuses me. I actually find the Nvu tutorials much easier to understand. When I hit a difficult spot or can't seem to make any progress, I go over the chapter in the book several times and find myself getting more and more anxious and frustrated. Then I tell myself to just go with it and experiment and let go of the fear of failure and as soon as I do that, I seem to make some progress.

For some reason, I had this real fear of linking my pages. I was just sure I wouldn't be able to do it. It seemed so complicated and the more I read, the more confused I became. I took a break and when I came back just thought: What 's the worst that can happen if I don't figure this out? I will go to class and I won't have my pages linked and everyone will think I'm stupid and then someone will show me how to do it -- I hope. Maybe I'll get a "C". Maybe I'll take an Incomplete. But then I just tell myself I'll figure it out, sooner or later. I remind myself I have figured out how to do PowerPoint and Publisher completely on my own, so, more than likely, EVENTUALLY I'll figure out how to create a small website with pages that link. Finally I did. I went over the Nvu tutorial at least 5 times and kept trying to follow the directions and finally I got a page uploaded with one link that worked. Then I came back and put another link in to see if maybe it was just a fluke. That worked too. I was quite elated. Then I tried a third one, and that one didn't work. But then I realized I had put in the wrong file name. As soon as I corrected that, it worked also. I have to admit I was stunned that I actually figured out how to do it, even after all the talking I did to try to reassure myself.

So, assuming I can remember how I did this the next time I sit down to work on this, I think I've gotten at least the basic linking skill down. I just wish I had way more time to spend on this, but when I do sit down, it seems to take me hours just to get the basic steps down. I feel like I'm tech-retarded or something. Eventually I figure things out, but it seems to take me way too long. I wish people would participate more on BlackBoard so I would feel like I was not the most technically-challenged person in the class.

A small bit of success, finally!

You wouldn't think uploading my files would be that hard. Especially since I've done it before. But for whatever reason, I had the hardest time doing just that today. I spent hours -- all afternoon, uploading some test pages and couldn't get them to open in a brower. I did this over and over without success. Finally I broke down and did a chat session with Academic Computing to see if I was doing something very simple incorrectly. The guy thought I didn't have my files in the public file, even though it looked to me like they were there and I could see them. I still find that whole interface kind of confusing. Finally, I uploaded them onto what looked like the Private file to me and voila! They showed up in my browser. I could not believe it! It still looks funny to me in the WinScp file, but at least I know where they need to be from now on. It just should not be this difficult. I wonder if anyone else is having problems. If they are, they're not talking about it on BlackBoard.

Back to Lesson 9

Now that I've finally got my wireless working, I thought I would get up early this morning and finish up with  Lesson 9.

I looked at FlashVista.  I really don't like flash and don't think I want to use it in my website, ever.  It makes me feel nervous and jittery whenever I see it.  I love the look of the Flash Tutorials website, however.  Very simple and very calming colors.  I might be inclined to look at the tutorials just because the website is so attractive.

Site Pal:  Very interesting!  I could see where this would be very useful with many sites.  I don't like the idea of having to pay for it, though.  I did watch the tutorial and it looks surprisingly simple.  I will definitely check this one out again after I make a little more progress.

Adobe Flash:  Hard to  ever imagine I will progress to the point where I need to use this, but I'm keeping track of all these sites for when I'm ready.

Swift:  Don't like the look of this site.  Blue and gray does not seem to be a good combo here, at least in these shades.  Like the animation at the bottom, though.

Swish:  Much more attractive site.  The free trial looks very interesting.

Hot Scripts:  I don't really understand exactly what this is, and would have to spend a lot more time on this site.  By looking at the top-rated scripts, it became a little clearer to me -- it looks like an application or program that does something that someone has already created the code for, so you don't have to reinvent the wheel.  Great idea!

Soundstage:  I used Audacity to create an mp3 file last semester, so I was really interested in this subject.  Very interesting information.

Streaming Audio:  I'm not really interested in streaming audio at this time, but it doesn't look that complicated.  This website looks kind of bland and boring, and I don't really feel inclined to explore it.

Audacity:  I've used this before, and now that I've learned about good web design, I can really appreciate their site a lot more.  It's blessedly clean and simple looking.  Makes me want to jump in an make another mp3 file.  Oh, if only I had time!

Musicovery:  This looks kind of cool.  I'll definitely have to come back here and explore.

Pandora Internet Radio:  This looks too cool to believe!  I am definitely coming back to this site as soon as the semester is over.  What an adorable website!

Amaya:  This looks like another web editor.  I'm definitely willing to try another one.  Weird choice of colors with all the browns, though.  It does not instill confidence. . . .

Trellian:  Good to know about this one two.  I don't really want to change horses in the middle of the stream.  Messing with DreamWeaver was bad enough.  Next time I will give this one a try.

SeaMonkey:  I've already used this one.  I thought it was okay for what I needed, but I don't think I would go back to it.  Love the name!

Free text editors:  This looks like a wealth of information.  Cool looking site, also.  The purple and yellow seem to work -- kind of calming.  Not a combo I would have chosen, but sometimes different color combos can be very surprising.  

Getting serious

It's time to get serious about this. When I started this class, I had illusions of creating this wonderful website. Now that I've played around with different ideas and created some test pages, I have to accept that it needs to be extremely simple. I have to be realistic about my skills and abilities. I want to do something impressive, but I'm going to have to settle for basic. Maybe once I get it all together, I'll feel ready to jazz it up, but right now I just need to get something drafted and uploaded.

I spent this afternoon mapping out four simple pages with a home page, a resume page, a "more about me page and a portfolio page, where I can post some of my projects from last semester, like the PowerPoint, the Publisher brochure and the mp3 file I did, and also maybe some of my papers. It may be a nice tool to refer to in job interviews. I find it kind of difficult to market myself that way, and am not sure if I deserve a whole website, but that's my plan now, and we'll see how it works out. After spending quite a bit of time with DreamWeaver, I'm just not finding it any easier to work with. I just can't get over feeling intimidated by the interface. It's just too complex. I feel so much more comfortable working with Nvu. What does this say about me? But that's the way it is. I actually did upload a couple of pages to myweb using DreamWeaver and I was very impressed with how easy it was. Unfortunately, I could not get the pages to open no matter what I did. So, I'm sure it's a great piece of software, but it's just not for me. Too many bells and whistles. Maybe later. I feel bad about not being able to make good use of DreamWeaver, but things feel so much easier in Nvu that if I'm going to be able to relax and enjoy this process, I'm going to have to stick with Nvu.

Frustration reigns supreme

I've gotten my website designed on paper, hopefully using good design principles, but I can't seem to translate my ideas onto the page. I've done ALOT of test pages, telling myself to just play with the editor and the pages, but everything seems awkward and looks like it was produced by a child. I've gone over and over the book and it just doesn't seem to make sense to me. I just didn't think it would be this hard. After spending hours, I feel like I'm just not making any progress and I don't know what to do. Based on experience, what I need to do is just take a break -- a long break -- and get away from it. I'm teched out.

When I'm unsuccessful, it creates this intense anxiety in me about whether I can even do this, which makes it even harder to come back with enthusiasm. But time is kind of running out. I need to get started on my Research Methods proposal, which is 40% of my grade. So I'm taking a break. Hopefully, once I've made some progress in that class, I'll be able to feel more enthusiastic about working on the website.

Finally got my wireless working!!!!!!!!!

I'm absolutely elated! I finally got my wireless working! After an unsuccessful and very frustrating effort last month, I finally decided I was not going to go to bed until I got it working. It took me several hours, but I finally did it. I'm still not sure what the problem was, since I've set it up several times before, but I am so relieved, because it has been very difficult keeping up with everything, including my Research Methods class, while having to sit in the chair next to the modem. Now I'm free and I can take my laptop anywhere. It's so nice to sit at the table in my bedroom or take the laptop into bed with me. I'm so proud of myself, although kind of peeved at the same time for not being able to accomplish this earlier, despite several efforts. So I thought this deserved a post all by itself.

Now I feel ready and able to really move ahead in this class and start doing some more serious work on my website in this class.

Lesson 9: Advanced Topics

Quite honestly I don't feel ready to move on to Advanced Topics right now. I feel overwhelmed with all the information I've taken in over the last couple months, and, not having had much success with my web pages, feel like I need to return back to the basics. I'm not sure what to do next. The biggest hurdle I face is psychological, since I've tried creating pages on both Dreamweaver and Nvu, but still don't have any pages I would even want to show anyone. There are features I really like about Dreamweaver, but I don't know what I'm doing wrong when I can't view the pages I've created. Nvu was easier, so I think I should go back to that and figure out some way to make it work, even without CSS. I need to take some time and go back over everything and figure out what I'm doing wrong.

Meanwhile, I do have my web pages mapped out. I know what I want to do, but I just can't seem to translate my thoughts into web pages.